Learning to Choose

One of the themes that runs through much of our detention material is that we can’t always choose our circumstances but we can choose how we respond to them. This is a difficult concept to relay as many of us live in a perpetual state of victimhood.

If we’re struggling with something, more likely than not, we blame our circumstances or people in our lives. If only we had had more opportunities while growing up, we wouldn’t be in this situation. If only people would give me a chance, I could prove myself. If only I had a bit more money or resources, I could really make a difference. Yet, all around us there are people doing amazing things with very limited resources or opportunities.

We don’t want to teach learners that whatever dream they have is possible. Some dreams are unrealistic or selfish. Some dreams are inappropriate or don’t match the particular resources, abilities or gifts of a particular learner. However, we also don’t want learners to have the perception that they are trapped in their circumstances.

This is particularly relevant in the school context, where a lot of things happen that frustrate learners but which they can do nothing about. Our challenge to them is to change in the system what they can change but to learn to work with those things that they can’t. If a school has certain rules to help it function effectively, learners need to learn to cooperate with those rules to their best advantage. If a certain teacher picks on them, and all the ways they’ve tried to change that have failed, they need to find a way to cope with the situation as best they can.

When they leave school and enter the working world they may well encounter a boss who picks on them or organizational rules that don’t suit them, but they need to learn how to cope with that in a way that works. We don’t want learners who passively accept injustice. But we also don’t want learners who aggressively fight a system that they cannot change in ways that are inappropriate and self destructive.

We want them to assess their circumstances realistically. This includes assessing their own abilities and limitations. From here, they can begin to see what choices they do and don’t have. We want them to realize that within the scope of the choices they do have there is actually a lot they can do to make their circumstances significantly better.

I can’t change the fact that when I get to a detention session there may be no electricity so that I can't run our multi-media presentation. The venue may be in a mess. The learners may be overly energetic and rowdy. The facilitators assisting me may be late. All these things I have no control over. But I can choose what to do with these many challenges. I can turn them into a learning opportunity not only for myself, but for the entire detention session and for all those reading this blog!